Posts tagged ‘Spazz’
I’m contemplating whether or not I should check myself into a psych ward. I turned on the iron in the living room to warm up. Went back to the computer and started some girl talk online. About ten or fifteen minutes later, I realized I left the iron on, so I put the conversation on hold and went back to the ironing board.
For the first time in my life, I am having such a hoot ironing my pants, shorts, and what not. The music is blasting and I’m ironing. Something’s wrong with me. MARTHA STEWART, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?
“You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til you lose it.” So true. Being a visitor has made me notice so many things about the city I once resided in.
Every time I visit San Francisco, I’m always amazed at how many billboards there are. How could I not notice these while I was living there? I got so used to the billboards that I guess I became oblivious to them popping out in my face. Some are downright hilarious and creative! What other city would put “badass” on a billboard? If your city would, holla at me with pictures. My fascination with San Francisco billboards prompted me to start a collection, which I’ll update with each visit.
COLLECTION OF SAN FRANCISCO BILLBOARDS
Let me tell you, this collection is rather dangerous. I rear-ended someone while trying to take a picture of a billboard on my right. I was at a red light, and my rental car was rolling a little bit without my knowledge. I felt and heard a slight “crash.” SHIT. I hit a pick up truck in front of me just as the light was turning green. The driver didn’t even want to get out to check for damages. He saluted at me and drove off. I, on the other hand, immediately got out to assess damages, but luckily there was not even one scratch. WHEW. My sister, in the passenger seat, gave me her famous look that implied, “Ooookay. You are the weirdest thing on Earth and I don’t know you.” YOU LOVE ME, SISTER, AND YOU KNOW IT.
From now on, I’m only taking pictures as a passenger!
Jeff interrupted my romance with the Internet and said, “Good job, Sazzy.”
Puzzled, I was all, “Huh?” Then, I stood up quickly and started to go into the kitchen. I had a feeling he was referring to my midnight snack cooking on the stove - ramen.
As I was nearing the kitchen, I smelled smoke! Oh shit! Jeff pointed at the kitchen counter, on top of which was a wooden pizza dish that was still smoking. Meekly I said, “Oops?”
Apparently I had turned on the wrong dial on the stove and started “cooking” the wooden pizza dish instead of the pot of ramen! Jeff said that there was tons of smoke. He had to open all the windows. Thank god he was in the kitchen! And, thank god he has a sense of humor, because we cracked up over this.
Now the wooden dish smells like a campfire and has a pretty spiral pattern burnt into it. Any takers?
Anyone seen the Planet Earth series? I’ve only seen the first disc so far, and boy, I’ve learned a lot. The last time I learned that much in such a short time span was in college back in the early 2000’s.
Many animals were shown in the episode, and if you know me well, I wasn’t exposed to animals much growing up. Here’s an excerpt of a “spazz” conversation between me and the man during the film.
TV: *shows a giraffe taking care of business.*
Me: “Ooh, a kangaroo!”
Jeff: *looks at Sarah like, is she ok?*
Me: Oh no no, now that’s a kangaroo! *looks at baboons on TV* No, those are too small to be kangaroos.
Jeff: *Seriously starting to wonder if he should put me in a mental institution.*
Me: Oh duh that was a baboon? Where are the freaking kangaroos!?
Jeff: *rolls eyes*
Me: Aww that fawn is so cute!! I wanna pet it.
Jeff: No, that’s a kangaroo.
Me: STFU!
Ok… so I’m an idiot. No kangaroos were shown at all in disc one, but I still highly recommend you to see Planet Earth. There’s so much we can learn about this big planet. For example, did you know that penguins suffer negative 70 degrees (c) during 4 months of darkness? If you did, good for you, you’re a smart cookie. I didn’t know that, so no cookies for me. Also did you know that the jungle in the tropics supports 50% of Earth’s animals? I didn’t, because I think a bug in my bedroom covers pretty much 100% and freaks me out.
Fair warning, though: death in the wild is not sugar-coated in the film. Perhaps this is why Planet Earth was so good, because it shows the truth that we do not see everyday. I can’t wait to see the rest of Planet Earth series. I just hope I see a kangaroo, SOON, dammit!
I was showing Jeff a funny picture of someone in a magazine. He commented that the person in the picture looked like a deer caught in front of headlights.
Later on, as Jeff was watching TV, I said to him, “I’m surprised you haven’t asked me yet.”
He was at a loss and staring at me a little panicked. Trying to poke fun at his earlier comment about the person in the picture, I said, “Now who’s stuck in front of the deer?”
After he stopped convulsing in laughter on my bed long enough to look at me, I tried again: “Now whose head is in front of the headlights?”
Aww dammit, I was tired and I couldn’t get it straight!
(And no, I wasn’t referring to marriage! I was referring to a job possibility.)
