Posts tagged ‘Ramble’
Lately, I’ve been hooked on Mario Kart for the Wii. So hooked that I’ve been dreaming about it in my sleep. Jeff was surprised I didn’t pick up my keyboard today at work and steer it every time I saw a question mark on my computer monitor.
If anyone out there thinks playing video games means sitting on your ass, you’re wrong. Since the Wii controller is motion sensitive, it requires you to move around instead of sitting on your ass with a simple controller like Playstation’s. I can’t seem to get off my lazy ass for the treadmill, but I’ll get my ass off the couch to play Wii with a competitive edge. Therefore, Wii is my exer-tainment, and that’s not a misspell. I know the Wii is nothing compared to a real workout at the gym, but cut me some slack. The Wii is giving my sorry, lazy, and growing ass a workout!
After playing boxing on Wii Sports, I get sore in my back and arms – more so than I would at the gym. Major triceps and biceps workout! No pain, no gain, right?! After Mario Kart, my shoulders feel a burn. Pretty soon I’ll be strong, and you won’t want to mess with me! Now there’s a Wii Fit out that really gets you moving!
Apparently, the Wii has other benefits. The Wii may be good for surgeons to learn controlled and delicate movements. Also, the Wii has become helpful in rehab therapy for those who have had a stroke or combat injuries. Wii helps patients remember how to use their limbs in a fun way.
On the the other hand, the Wii can be dangerous if your arms are flying everywhere hitting the nearby lamp, accidentally hitting your 2nd player, or throwing your controller up into to the fan out of anger from losing. Being unwise about your environment will eventually cause some injuries, but just put everything in storage and you’ll be fine. Why do you need a lamp if the light coming from the flat screen is good enough? Why do you need the 2nd player if you keep winning anyways? Seriously, though, to prevent any kind of major Wii-injury, just do the Wii warm-up.
This could be fun for my entire family if I had kids. It’d be like a family night. I was never interested in playing with serious gamers, because all they did was sit on their asses without moving. Maybe scream out some obscenities, but that’s only mouth movement. Oh yeah and finger movements on the controller. But the Wii? WHOO! GAME ON!
NO PAIN, NO GAIN! GO KOOPA TROOPA, GO SHOVE BABY MARIO OFF THE BRIDGE! QUESTION MARK! DROP THOSE BANANAS! FIRE THE RED SHELL!
During my lunch break, I went to the Gap store to browse around. Even before I walked into Gap, I noticed something funny. There were two mannequins at the window sporting their nice tight ass with no cellulite. I laughed it off, thinking that the store forgot to dress up those mannequins.
However, when I walked into the store, I immediately noticed that every single mannequin in the store was naked. BUTT-NAKED.
Remember, it’s lunch time, in the middle of the day. And there I was, surrounded by fake boobs, fake crotches, fake everything. I had to laugh out loud because it went so well with my silly global warming theory that nakedness was the next fad.
(Pardon the quality of the photos - it came from my crappy SideKick cellphone camera)
WHAT WILL YOU DO FOR EARTH?
Today, for Earth, I’m going to kiss the ground 100 times because this planet is a marvelous place. I’m also going to blow kisses in the wind to thank the air for my constant breathing. However, I’m going to curse at the pollen part of Earth, because I am ready to take out my eyes and put them in the refrigerator to cool. Or better yet, pour pink calamine lotion all over my eyes.
My space heater under my desk will be turned off all day. This means I’ll freeze my tushie off in the building’s air conditioning, but all in the name of love for Earth, right? Seriously, though, today is not going to be any different for me, as I already try to live an Earth-friendly lifestyle.
This quiz, What’s Your Environmental Footprint?, fed my brain some interesting information. Check it out.
Whoa! Cook before eating frozen pizza? Thanks, Red Baron, for making my life a whole lot clearer! If I didn’t know this extremely important step, I would have started chomping on frozen pizza. Then, end up with teeth like Austin Powers’.
I’m contemplating whether or not I should check myself into a psych ward. I turned on the iron in the living room to warm up. Went back to the computer and started some girl talk online. About ten or fifteen minutes later, I realized I left the iron on, so I put the conversation on hold and went back to the ironing board.
For the first time in my life, I am having such a hoot ironing my pants, shorts, and what not. The music is blasting and I’m ironing. Something’s wrong with me. MARTHA STEWART, WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?
I was supposed to head down to Washington DC for the Earth Day on the National Mall to check out a variety of exhibits and live music. But, plans changed. It was pouring and thundering so hard this morning that I had to make sure it wasn’t Jeff snoring. Jeff said that the Earth messed up Earth Day. So true – Earth decided to poop on its own event. So, I took the opportunity this morning to finally watch my rental DVD: The New Kids on the Block Greatest Hits. Go ahead – laugh all you want, but THEY ARE BACK with their charming sugary sweet smiles and all!
For all you blockheads out there, have you seen the old videos lately? As much as I loved reliving my youth by watching the NKOTB videos, I had to laugh out loud at some scenes. First, the way they dressed just cracked me up. Jordan Knight was actually in overalls in the “Step by Step” video. Did he really hail from Boston? He looked like he hailed from one of those farms in Pennsylvania. Moments later, I realized, oh right, that was the STYLE back then. I admit I was one of those poor saps who fell for the overalls fad. Here’s evidence.
Danny Wood’s leopard jacket was to die for though. I’d wear his leopard jacket any day, any time.
Second, their dancing really made me go all, “God, I loved those guys?! What the hell was I thinking?” In “The Right Stuff,” towards the end, their choreographed moves made me think of ducks wading forward in a lake. Ah, who cares? They were the shit!
Finally, I noticed that cleavage and skin were absent from the NKOTB videos! Nowadays, most music videos reveal cleavage or butt cheeks, as if it was illegal to NOT show any. Is global warming to blame?
Global warming is clearly evident in Mariah Carey’s videos. In Dreamlover (1993), Mariah sports a plaid shirt that pretty much covers all of her boobs and mid-rise jean shorts. Today, in her new, hilarious video “Touch my Body,” she’s sporting lingerie that exposes half of her boobs to seduce a geek. I swear, I if she leaned over just a little more, her boobs would have fallen out, Janet Jackson style.
Is the next style nudity?
Wondering exactly when you’ll get your tax-rebate stimulus check? Wonder no more!
STIMULUS PAYMENT SCHEDULE
A lot of thoughts are swimming around in my head about this so called tax rebate, and they are just thoughts. It’s supposed to help the brittle economy in America. To me, this seems like a temporary plan, not for the “big picture.” Is $600-$1200 really going to significantly help those 900,000 people who are losing their homes? But then again, is the government even responsible for those people who rushed into those different loan plans and not knowing the consequences? Or not fully understanding what they were getting into? On the other hand, many people got “duped” or sucked in for what sounded so good to be true and they need to be rescued.
The stimulus checks are only going to taxpayers, not people on disability or homeless who don’t or cannot pay taxes. This stimulus check doesn’t seem to be bringing prices back to a realistic level in accordance with income. Just yesterday, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that San Francisco is the first city to now be at the $4 average mark for gas. Only the filthy rich can afford the big city life on a comfortable level.
Again, these are just thoughts. And very confusing ones at that. So I’m going to take my check, put my head back in the sand, and STFU.
Dear Mr. Hot-Shot driver with a stick up your ass,
It would have only taken 10 seconds to let me slide in front of you in your lane so I could make the upcoming left turn. But no, OH MY GOD, 10 seconds was going to really ruin your day. Instead of being a sweetheart, you decided to BE A BUTTHOLE and not let me in front of you. So did the car behind you, and the one behind them. But, who cares about the cars behind you, because it’s you who started all this. As a result of your EGO BIG AS THE UNIVERSE, I had to make a detour by going straight instead of making my left turn. This detour resulted in 15 minutes of waste, because I had to deal with bumper to bumper to the next intersection that enabled a left turn. Thanks a lot. Despite being pissed off at you for a moment, I was laughing because it’s not like you get a million bucks for being cocky. Really, what’s the point?
Seriously, today is beautiful – the sun is out and about, the trees are sprouting leaves, and Spring is around the corner – yet, people like you want to screw one another with road rage. Why? Does it actually feed an ego to not let one in front of them to make a simple left turn? Or maybe you just have a major case of diarrhea coming on, and you just had to HURRY HOME to let it all out. In that case, I hope you had to clean your toilet afterwards. Don’t forget to buy the bleach kind of cleaner.
Sincerely,
Your fellow commuter.
Even though Washington DC is ranked the 5th worst road rage in America, road rage is still a major issue across the nation. Miami is the first. Even San Francisco, the city I highly speak of, is 10th on the list. My advice is to just not give in. Don’t give anyone your finger. Just take a deep breath, laugh, and think they have MAJOR DIARRHEA COMING ON and let them go!
That’s it. I’m taking my laptop with 15 batteries and going back in my cave. BECAUSE IT IS 36 DEGREES! There was a little ice on the car windshield this morning. The mist was coming out of my mouth. What a tease last week, Spring.
I’m bouncing all over the walls now! Hyped up to the max. No, not because it’s Friday. No, not because I’m high on caffeine. No, not because I won the lottery.
Because it’s FREAKING 75 DEGREES! The judge let Spring out! I feel a prickle of sweat on my neck and I’m loving it. I’ve come out of my cave – beware, make cover!
Californians and Arizonians, please shush. Don’t burst my bubble. I know it’s around 85 there and much drier without humidity. So, as much as I love you all, stuff it.
