Posts tagged ‘Annoyances’
What a crazy ride it’s been lately! If I was on this freeway and I had to choose between sleep deprived or stressed out, I wouldn’t be able to pick! Which means a mega 80 car pileup would be my entire fault.
As if a power outage and tornado warning were not enough, a rodent has decided to move into my apartment. Hell, it could be two, four, or a freaking army of rodents. Jeff keeps calling it a “mouse” and my friend Bethalicious wants me to name “it,” but I very much prefer the word RODENT. The RODENT is incredibly quick. It’s nearly impossible to catch the rodent and throw it out the window! There are mousetraps scattered throughout the apartment, but he has yet to be captured. The RODENT is probably saying, “I’m too cool for those mouse traps, what are those freaking humans thinking?! Dumbasses.”
Late last Sunday, the local water main broke. There was no water on Monday morning, so many of the upper county residents went to work all smelly! Deodorant, anyone? Water was restored, but we are still on a boil advisory alert until at least Wednesday for safety testing. Water was sold out at the local Safeway, but luckily we got some!
Speaking of Safeway, I slipped in the store. Jeff had the cart in some other part of the store, and I was getting ground turkey. I stuffed it in a plastic bag, and started twirling the bag to look all cool. If only I were popping bubble gum, that’d be mega-coolness! As I was sashaying back to Jeff, completely oblivious to the yellow cone warning “WET FLOOR,” my foot slipped in a puddle. My right foot went flying into the air and somehow my left leg bent, which made me fall right onto my kneecap, HARD. I felt my body misalign itself and my neck jerked to the side. Even worse, my attire for the day: a skirt. Need I say more? I’ve got to stop being such a klutz before I break into a jigsaw puzzle.
Not everything has been negative! There are many good, happy, and memorable things to report that have happened recently, as well as the remaining Aruba stories. But first, I must call QueenAlpo and get my Wii extertainment in for the day. Stay tuned.
There’s nothing more annoying than when the toilet all of a sudden flushes without my consent. Just one little movement, then bamm, there’s tainted water SPLASHING on my rear. Or, when I carefully place a paper cover on the seat, and then the toilet flushes! Excuse me toilet… but, I WASN’T DONE!
I was curious what other people thought of the automatic flushers from hell, so I did a Google search. This rant is absolutely my favorite, as it’s so true. Definitely made me laugh! Go on, read the rant and laugh away, especially if your day is a bit boring like mine.
We had some crazy and violent storms yesterday (Wednesday). My lights at work kept flickering. At first, I ignored it. But the flickering wouldn’t give up. So I got off my ass to venture to a room with windows. WHOA. It looked 10pm when it was really only 3pm. It was so dark outside. The crazy thing was that it was beautiful earlier with sunshine and warmth. Then BAMM – all dark with thick heavy dark clouds looming above. It was as if I was working the night shift! I went straight to my computer and checked the weather. The weather dudes claimed a tornado warning for the entire Washington DC region. A tornado was confirmed, but outside of my local area. The power went out in many areas, and unfortunately, some of my friends STILL have no power. I was one of the lucky ones to have power on still at my apartment, but it would have been nice to not have power. Why? So I can actually RESIST THE DAMN computer and just light up a candle and start chanting yoga mantras and freak out everyone in my building.
The storm blacked out many traffic signals, which ruffled my feathers again about DC driving. Remember back then I talked about a “Hot Shot Butthole” on the road? That was nothing compared to this morning. When traffic signals are blacked out, it is common sense that it automatically means a stop sign for all directions at the intersection. Well, to many DCians, such rule doesn’t exist. This morning, on my way to work, I was stuck at an intersection with blacked out traffic signals. I sat at the intersection for at least three minutes, and not one car would stop to let me cross over. What, does my car stink or something? So finally I turned on the brave part of my soul, pressed my hand on the horn and slowly crossed the intersection. Midway through, cars going south would still not stop! I was so scared I’d get rammed and die, but what did I expect to do, stay there all day?! No. So I continued to honk and slowly maneuvered my way through, but I still could not get through. Finally, I started acting like a butthole, cursing with an angry face and giving my finger to the people who wouldn’t stop. Guess what? It worked. People stopped and let me through.
Now, just how sad is it that I have to give people my finger just to get through? Does it really take cursing to share the road around here during blackouts?
Sad. Very sad. At any rate, I’m still in one piece, and that intersection is still out of power, after 24 hours.
Since I am currently suffering from a frontal sinus flare up, I really wanted to lay down in silence and just de-stress. That’s all I wanted, just silence, my bed, a pillow, and rest. Once I hit my head on the pillow, I looked out the window to watch the pretty sunset. It was such a serene moment, but not much so when I realized I haven’t heard silence in eleven years. I stared at the sunset in disbelief. ELEVEN FREAKING YEARS! Wow. Where did the time go? This picture I found perfectly explains what is going on in my ears. (Not sure who the credit goes to?)
I am deaf, but I never have silence. Ironic? You see, I’ve been suffering from chronic tinnitus since my late teens when I lost more hearing. Just what exactly is tinnitus? The dictionary says it is “a noise that is perceived in the absence of external noise.” Unfortunately, the causes and cures for tinnitus are not well known. In college, I did a paper on tinnitus, which included interviews with other tinnitus sufferers. One of the things I discovered while doing my paper is that some researchers suggest and believe tinnitus could be that the brain generates its own sound when it is at work; a humming and ringing that are not usually noticed. WOW! This means I have a brain!! Thank god for that!
Really, tinnitus was hard to tackle at first. It put me through a major depression because it was so annoying to hear imaginary birds chirping, a non-existent helicopter, a roaring subway, or an electrical hum. Many details of my life had to be changed. I wanted to do what Van Gogh did – rip off my ears! Or invite Mike Tyson to bite my ears off!
Basically I went to a lot of doctors and underwent a lot of testing to see why I was suffering from tinnitus and if there was anything I could do. I was given some medication along with different remedies, but nothing worked except one thing, which I would later find out on my own.
That one remedy that worked was acceptance. After a long time of feeling cursed, I realized that in order for me to move on in my life and be the happy Sazzy I was, I had to accept the permanent noises in my head. At least until a cure comes along. Tinnitus became a part of me, and I was no longer bothered about it. Until tonight. All I wanted tonight was silence, and I couldn’t have it. It’s okay, though, I’ll go another eleven years with acceptance.
But still, MIKE TYSON, YOU NEARBY? Bring your teeth and bite my ears off!
Just a few requests if you happen to ride the elevator at my work building………
1. At the lobby, I know it tickles you pink when you see the elevator’s “UP” light flash and a big “ding” goes through your ears, but please do not hover around the elevator door waiting to get in. Almost 90% of the time the elevator will be crowded with people dying to get out in fear of claustrophobia. You will get run over as if you’re standing in front of a cow stampede so stand the hell away and let people out first!
2. If I’m the only one in the elevator when you get on, please do not stand right next to me. Go in another corner of the elevator, especially if you’re an old pervert. I’ll flash my biggest smile and say hello that way. But if you’re close to me and I can smell your banana breath, I’ll scowl and pray the elevator ride goes quickly as possible.
3. If you must press “close elevator door” or your floor number button 7843743 times, please tell me to turn around first because that just makes me want to scream, “pressing it 4385473 times isn’t gonna make the doors close any faster!” Seriously, it doesn’t. Learn some patience. But then again maybe I need to learn patience to let you push it 483957435 times, but that’s not the point. 
4. Please hold the doors if you see me running towards the elevator. I don’t think I smell, cuz I use the Lady Speed Stick deodorant. Nor would I bite you so don’t be so scared to let me in. You and I both know how horrible the elevator service is in this building – it takes forever. Don’t make me have to wait 385 more minutes for another elevator! Please!
EDIT: I guess sometimes you just have to be stuck on the elevator. I feel bad for these people who had to spend two days in an *ahem* elevator right before Christmas! Read the story. (Thanks to Pearly for this story!)
