Thursday sat on a wall
Thursday had a great fall
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Thursday together again
BECAUSE IT’S FRIDAY!
Or at least in a few hours it is. Friday totally played games with me all week! So close, yet so far away. But at last, Friday is about to make a presence once again! Even though the week crawled like the slowest turtle in the world, I’m really content with how the week turned out. For the most part, it was sunny and the temperature actually crawled up to a whopping 50 degrees!
I started off the week by seeing the movie Avatar. Everyone has been raving about Avatar, and honestly, I had no clue what it was even about. I wasn’t even going to go, but I thought why the heck not?! I’m glad I went, because it was awesome! My favorite quote from the movie was, “All energy is borrowed.” In just four simple words, you can’t say it any better than that. If you haven’t seen it yet, go!
For food this week, I’ve had delicious crab enchiladas that I really just died and went to heaven for. Who knew this area had some good Mexican?! So glad El Mariachi exists – check it out! I also had the biggest black bean burger that made lots of squishing sounds. None of that freezer crap.
After hours of practice, I now finally understand how to crochet three different ways, and got started on crocheting a scarf. Anyone want me to crochet some underwear?
And get this – this is the real kicker – most drivers were incredibly nice all week! Not once did I feel inclined to smile all fake-sugary and give anyone the middle finger. I was with a friend trying to get into the carpool lane on the freeway. None of the drivers tried to pull an ego trip to prevent me from crossing over to the far left carpool lane. What? Is this really the Washington DC area or am I just dreaming? WOW! Totally makes my week!
Here’s a text conversation between me and my Florida friend who is surrounded by palm trees and sunshine:
Me: I got my iPhone gloves! Whoo!
Joe: Sweet! What gloves?
Me: Echo touch.
Joe: Nice. What are they?
Me: Gloves, duh!
Joe: I still don’t understand.
Me: *silent*
Joe: Gloves with the iPhone built in? I don’t understand.
Me: Jowey, up here in the north, it’s too cold to take off your gloves to use the iPhone. But we do it anyway for reasons unknown and our fingers become butt cold. So there are gloves that we can use with special lining at the thumb and index fingertips that allow us to use the iPhone with gloves on. ZOMG RIGHT? MAGIC.
Joe: So like, really thin pantyhose gloves?
While the gloves are definitely warm, no sparks flew between us. Turns out I can only use the iPhone with my index fingers. The thumb part of the gloves is too long, so the special lining isn’t in the right place for me to type using my thumbs. Was it worth the $30 for me? Well, considering how addicted I am to Words for Friends, probably! Also it helps to be able to text people back if I am running late or navigate the iPhone GPS and not have to expose my hands to the brutal cold air. They’re also warmer than my $5 cotton gloves! I might exchange them for a smaller size to see if that solves the thumb problem, but we’ll see.
Verdict: only 50% doable because of the thumbs.
After all that hard work shoveling, I went from this…
…to this.
I know I said I wouldn’t get to this until tomorrow, but whatever. Halfway through sweeping off the hood of my car, I said to myself, “Screw this. Why bother?” Look at all the other cars except the middle one in the back. Everyone’s car has like 15 inches piled up. No one is outside shoveling. It sure looks pretty out there, though – all is calm.
TIP – don’t even bother shoveling your parking spot or sweeping your car off until the snow is DONE coming down. Unless you want ripped biceps and 138745 calories burned.
Did I fall and bump my head? Because I sure see a lot of stars here!
What an awesome effect from my camera’s bad focus. The stars in the tree and on the reflection, along with the winter wonderland outside in the back make this now one of my favorite pictures of the daring tree. Click on the photo for better visual of the stars I refer to.
FORGET the 2012 Apocalypse! It’s the 2009 Washington DC snowpocalypse! The last time the DC area had this much snow was more than ten years ago.
Being the on the go-go-go-go-don’t-stop-damn-it kind of girl lately, I got up all prepared to shovel and keep busy. I figured, okay, better to shovel a bit now and then more later when it piles up again. I contacted my neighbor (Thanks Erick & Sara) to borrow a shovel. Why don’t I own one? Because like I’ve admitted here before, I’m an idiot when it comes to winter crap. The plow truck dude did a number behind my car, piled up my car ass with snow as tall as my ice scraper.
On the super-dry boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. I get right to work trying to use my knees instead of my back. The plow truck dude comes by and before he can dump more white crap behind my car, I stop him and throw on my charismatic smile. “Dude, ya know, no one parks next to me, can you try to plow most of the snow over there?” With a gold tooth flashing, he smiles right back and says “Are you sure? I don’t want to get someone mad.” Me, “Ohhhh no worries, I promise no one parks next to me ever, only carpet cleaning companies, Comcast, and the sort.” Him, “Ok. But I can try to help you. Let me plow some snow out of your spot.” Me, “Awesome, okay!”
What a terrible idea. His plowing behind my car just pushed snow under my car’s ass and made it all worse. I smiled and told him don’t worry about it and just go, like immediately. He put his hand up in the air palm up and looked up at the sky. I’m all yeah darn snow. Seriously, though, it was really sweet of him to try to help and I totally appreciate it!
So, I get back to work. My panting becomes quite evident and my armpits were oozing with delicious sweat. My glasses kept fogging up because of my panting like someone who is totally out of shape, oh yeah that’s me!
Off the boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. Insert contacts lenses onto my dark blue eyes. Ah much better.
On the semi-wet boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. But then my back starts killing me. Dudes and dudettes, I’m only 29. (Never mind that I’ll be 30 in just a week.) I can’t have all this pain! OH there goes the knee!! Time for a break!! I really wanted to throw snowballs at someone, but there was no one around except this guy…with a snowblower. Think I’m going to commit suicide with him snow-blowing over my feet out of revenge? No thanks.
Off the boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. Plop on sofa and pant five times per second. Okay, I’m feeling a bit better here. My panting is now down to maybe one per second.
On the wet boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. Discovered the plow came around again, but didn’t do too bad of a number, but still. I keep shoveling like a devoted parking spot owner.
My feet are frozen. Okay, that’s it. Let it snow. Just let it freaking snow all the universe wants it to, because I should just enjoy this day by planting my butt on the sofa and go on a Smallville marathon with lots of ice cream.
Ice cream while my feet are frozen and it’s snowing? YUP.
Besides, by this time, two more inches had already accumulated on the roof of my car. And the snow was still steady coming down to dump probably 8 more inches. So why the hell am I still shoveling? More white marshmallow crap is gonna land throughout the day. Tomorrow I’ll give the shovel more attention, but for now I’m breaking up with it. I’ll probably curse at another plow truck pile up behind my car again tomorrow morning. But hey, I’ve probably burned 800 calories today and another 800 tomorrow. BRING ON THE ICE CREAM.
And the wet feet? Someone who’s experienced with snow dumps in the Northeast tells me after the fact to use plastic bags over my socks. Great tip! I’ll try that tomorrow!
This year I decided to do something daring and different for Christmas. I thought about maybe piercing my nose or getting a big tattoo. Yeah right. So, I’ve settled on this.
A white Christmas tree! Happy Holidays!
I’m going to the mall right now and I hope the experience doesn’t end up like this picture.
Change the mission to:
Go to two specific stores, buy two Christmas gifts.
Please don’t let me be that crazy woman…again!! But I do have to claim those free birthday gift coupons from Sephora. And use up a $15 free cash. And oh god here we go.
-Posted from my iPhone
I’d totally want this lipmobile in my stocking. But alas I’m quite well past the teen years.
Okay, it’s now my 4th winter living out here. I’ve some comments to make. Yes, I’m still learning!!
1. Never, ever brush the snow off your car hood to the left. Go from left to right towards the trunk!! But if you’re left handed, switch! If you don’t follow this, snow ends up on your legs and feet.
2. ALWAYS brush off the snow on your car when it stops snowing or intermittently. Otherwise, you’ll be scraping ice off for hours like the poor handsome guy outside that I passed the day after it snowed. I could hear him grunting while driving by! Not only would this rule save your body some pain, but it would also prevent innocent drivers behind you getting your hard, iced up snow missiles while driving 70mph on the freeway! (Thanks to CK for the “snow missile” phrase! Good one!)
3. Uggs are not waterproof. Sink them into slushy snow and dammit you’ve gone and wasted 200 bucks worth of sheepskin.
4. If you’re going to take the metro, be absolutely prepared to wait a half hour because of potential stupid ass delays that cause frostbite on your feet. Dress appropriaty. Hell, better yet, bring a small carry on of major goodies as if you were an Alaskan just as a precaution. An eskimo jacket rolled up, feet warmers, iPhone gloves (because you know waiting a half hour without checking your phone is a sin and thus, without this, your hands become utterly frozen. You’d have no one to blame but mother nature, oops I mean yourself), earmuffs, a good fleece hat, butt warming pads, and I don’t know, a warm handsome guy to hug you when you’re busy whining like a kid who’s parents won’t buy them candy or the new zhu zhu hamsters that kids are crazing over right now. Oh, and did I mention thermal pants? And uggs that aren’t destroyed by stupid slushy snow. I guess all this wouldn’t really fit in a duffel carry on. All this shit would require a huge suitcase that some airline would charge $100 for baggage, but dudes so worth it. Oh my gosh, please do not forget the Valium for when you’re so positvely fuming about why you left California in the first place to a godforsaken place that snows. Otherwise, you might be tempted to jump down onto the tracks and yell at the next train, “Kill me please!!” When you finally reach your destination and go to the nearest Starbucks, get a hot green tea! While you’re still orgasming from the warm tea in your hands, go ahead and take your shoes and socks off and put the tea on your feet, too! Who cares who looks at you strangely, because well, who cares! Oh and by the way, I asked for green tea, but after a while I realized I’d been drinking Zen. What, was it really written all over my face that I’m pissed at myself for dressing like a stupid Californian in Washington DC!!??
5. Last but definitely NOT least, don’t ever get your tubs reglazed (refinished) in snowy weather with temperatures below 35. Just don’t, okay? KTHXBAI.
Oh, and on another note: think twice before buying the zhu zhu hamsters.
When I saw this, I had a straight face. I did not stiffle a giggle. I did not crack a smile. I just stared at it like I’m on Valium spaced out. Ok, maybe I made some movements with my eyebrows going, uhhhhhhh.
Most. Boring. Christmas. Holiday. Hannukah. Kwanzaa. Bullshit. Card. I. Have. Ever. Seen. In. My. Life.
If this is a greeting card you have a major urge to mail out to everyone this year, you can purchase the set here.
Oh, and if this card is being sent to me already via the lovely USPS, don’t worry, I’ll still love you. I’ll just check off “other” and write in a bold red pen, “OMG IT IS XMAS YAY! NOW WHERE ARE MY HO HO’S AT!?”
