Snowpocalypse 2009!

Dec 19, 2009

FORGET the 2012 Apocalypse! It’s the 2009 Washington DC snowpocalypse!   The last time the DC area had this much snow was more than ten years ago.

Being the on the go-go-go-go-don’t-stop-damn-it kind of girl lately, I got up all prepared to shovel and keep busy.  I figured, okay, better to shovel a bit now and then more later when it piles up again.   I contacted my neighbor (Thanks Erick & Sara) to borrow a shovel. Why don’t I own one? Because like I’ve admitted here before, I’m an idiot when it comes to winter crap.  The plow truck dude did a number behind my car, piled up my car ass with snow as tall as my ice scraper.

On the super-dry boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. I get right to work trying to use my knees instead of my back. The plow truck dude comes by and before he can dump more white crap behind my car, I stop him and throw on my charismatic smile. “Dude, ya know, no one parks next to me, can you try to plow most of the snow over there?”   With a gold tooth flashing, he smiles right back and says “Are you sure? I don’t want to get someone mad.”   Me, “Ohhhh no worries, I promise no one parks next to me ever, only carpet cleaning companies, Comcast, and the sort.”   Him, “Ok. But I can try to help you. Let me plow some snow out of your spot.”  Me, “Awesome, okay!”

What a terrible idea.  His plowing behind my car just pushed snow under my car’s ass and made it all worse. I smiled and told him don’t worry about it and just go, like immediately.  He put his hand up in the air palm up and looked up at the sky. I’m all yeah darn snow.   Seriously, though, it was really sweet of him to try to help and I totally appreciate it!

So, I get back to work.  My panting becomes quite evident and my armpits were oozing with delicious sweat.   My glasses kept fogging up because of my panting like someone who is totally out of shape, oh yeah that’s me!

Off the boots, jacket, hat, and gloves.   Insert contacts lenses onto my dark blue eyes.   Ah much better.

On the semi-wet boots, jacket, hat, and gloves.  But then my back starts killing me.  Dudes and dudettes, I’m only 29.  (Never mind that I’ll be 30 in just a week.)  I can’t have all this pain!  OH there goes the knee!!   Time for a break!! I really wanted to throw snowballs at someone, but there was no one around except this guy…with a snowblower. Think I’m going to commit suicide with him snow-blowing over my feet out of revenge? No thanks.

Off the boots, jacket, hat, and gloves. Plop on sofa and pant five times per second. Okay, I’m feeling a bit better here.  My panting is now down to maybe one per second.

On the wet boots, jacket, hat, and gloves.  Discovered the plow came around again, but didn’t do too bad of a number, but still.  I keep shoveling like a devoted parking spot owner.

My feet are frozen. Okay, that’s it.  Let it snow. Just let it freaking snow all the universe wants it to, because I should just enjoy this day by planting my butt on the sofa and go on a Smallville marathon with lots of ice cream.

Ice cream while my feet are frozen and it’s snowing? YUP.

Besides, by this time, two more inches had already accumulated on the roof of my car. And the snow was still steady coming down to dump probably 8 more inches.  So why the hell am I still shoveling? More white marshmallow crap is gonna land throughout the day.   Tomorrow I’ll give the shovel more attention, but for now I’m breaking up with it.  I’ll probably curse at another plow truck pile up behind my car again tomorrow morning.  But hey, I’ve probably burned 800 calories today and another 800 tomorrow. BRING ON THE ICE CREAM.

And the wet feet?  Someone who’s experienced with snow dumps in the Northeast tells me after the fact to use plastic bags over my socks. Great tip!  I’ll try that tomorrow!

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