Archive for June 2008
Just when I think a rodent is actually cute, he or she dies. Poor Chmurka. Maybe hamster heaven has a bunch of wheels for Chmurka to run on, and perhaps a bunch of sushi.
As for the gross RODENT visitor in my apartment, no one has seen it since I saw it last Saturday. This morning, Jeff sent me two text messages.
“I just saw a flat mouse on the road.”
“Your rodent problem has been solved.”
Great! Good thing I wasn’t hungry. An exterminator company, AKA RodentBusters, paid a visit and left us a lovely yellow note saying that they treated the kitchen for mice. Not sure what they did, but regardless, I suspect the rodent has been long gone. When the RODENT looked at me last Saturday, it probably got scared shitless and found a new home. Yeah, on the road, FLAT.
I’ve been giving rodents such a bad rap lately, that I wouldn’t be surprised there’s an army of rodents in some sewer conspiring an evil plan to get back at me. Perhaps they will forgive me when I actually say AWWWWW to this picture. Of course, one major reason I’m saying AWW here is because my fiance loves sushi, and this picture reminds me of him. (And okay, the mouse is a teeny bitsy cute… shh.)
Please pardon the horrible quality of this photo, as it came from my shitty cell camera. The sign at a Washington DC metro station says: “You gonna eat that? Unlike some subway systems (which will remain nameless), you don’t see rats the size of house cats roaming Metro. Why not? Because we’re so strict about eating and drinking in the system. Please help us keep the critters away. Please don’t eat or drink on Metro.”
Yeah, because those rats are in my apartment, which is clean. And just so you know, Metro, I saw a rat at the Metro Center station while waiting for the orange line not long ago. The little bugger, aka RODENT, was scurrying across the tracks. I don’t even want to know if it got smashed by the train. Yuck.
Up until recently, I have not been able to point out any similarities between San Francisco and Washington DC. That changed while I was walking through 21st and P Street in Dupont Circle last weekend. I felt like I was in San Francisco for one split second. I repeat – just one split second, no more. The Victorian-like building in Dupont circle building looked similar to some of the awesome designs in San Francisco that I grew to love and adore. Granted, there are many areas in DC that have charming row houses that boast cool Victorian styles, but it’s quite rare to come across something that is made of stucco-type like the place in Dupont Circle.
This is at the intersection of 21st and P in Washington DC’s Dupont Circle. What? No brick?!
This is in San Francisco’s Pacific Heights. (Picture ripped from the ‘net.) Anyone have a tissue to wipe up my drool?
The only thing missing in Dupont Circle was the bay, limos, funky shoes, the smell of the ocean, the hills, bikers, and… ah okay, I’ll shut up here.
While I was googling for a picture of Pacific Heights, I came across this:
Wow. Just wow. Can this be real?! If so, did it even qualify for insurance? Because if a really BAD earthquake hit, that house would go *splash.*
What a crazy ride it’s been lately! If I was on this freeway and I had to choose between sleep deprived or stressed out, I wouldn’t be able to pick! Which means a mega 80 car pileup would be my entire fault.
As if a power outage and tornado warning were not enough, a rodent has decided to move into my apartment. Hell, it could be two, four, or a freaking army of rodents. Jeff keeps calling it a “mouse” and my friend Bethalicious wants me to name “it,” but I very much prefer the word RODENT. The RODENT is incredibly quick. It’s nearly impossible to catch the rodent and throw it out the window! There are mousetraps scattered throughout the apartment, but he has yet to be captured. The RODENT is probably saying, “I’m too cool for those mouse traps, what are those freaking humans thinking?! Dumbasses.”
Late last Sunday, the local water main broke. There was no water on Monday morning, so many of the upper county residents went to work all smelly! Deodorant, anyone? Water was restored, but we are still on a boil advisory alert until at least Wednesday for safety testing. Water was sold out at the local Safeway, but luckily we got some!
Speaking of Safeway, I slipped in the store. Jeff had the cart in some other part of the store, and I was getting ground turkey. I stuffed it in a plastic bag, and started twirling the bag to look all cool. If only I were popping bubble gum, that’d be mega-coolness! As I was sashaying back to Jeff, completely oblivious to the yellow cone warning “WET FLOOR,” my foot slipped in a puddle. My right foot went flying into the air and somehow my left leg bent, which made me fall right onto my kneecap, HARD. I felt my body misalign itself and my neck jerked to the side. Even worse, my attire for the day: a skirt. Need I say more? I’ve got to stop being such a klutz before I break into a jigsaw puzzle.
Not everything has been negative! There are many good, happy, and memorable things to report that have happened recently, as well as the remaining Aruba stories. But first, I must call QueenAlpo and get my Wii extertainment in for the day. Stay tuned.
See what I mean about drivers in the Washington DC metro area? This dude thinks it’s a one way street or something. Duh, dude, never drive on the left side of double yellow lines. I had to keep my car backed up in case someone wanted to come through. Luckily, no one was hurt. At least this wasn’t road rage like I’ve encountered in the past, which you can see here.
There’s nothing more annoying than when the toilet all of a sudden flushes without my consent. Just one little movement, then bamm, there’s tainted water SPLASHING on my rear. Or, when I carefully place a paper cover on the seat, and then the toilet flushes! Excuse me toilet… but, I WASN’T DONE!
I was curious what other people thought of the automatic flushers from hell, so I did a Google search. This rant is absolutely my favorite, as it’s so true. Definitely made me laugh! Go on, read the rant and laugh away, especially if your day is a bit boring like mine.
Last night I attempted a Myoplex shake for dinner because I ate like crap all day long at work, but it was just unsatisfying. Sure, it filled me up, but I wanted a MEAL that you can CHEW. You know, utilize the teeth that we were given! So, I also had this:
I know it is nothing to call Rachael Ray about. However, it really brought back fond memories, which made me feel nostalgic for times with my sister. She and I had this crap almost everyday during our first summer living in California. We were experts at il bel far niente (the beauty of doing nothing). Sleep in, eat Ramen, go out by the pool, come back in to watch Days of Our Lives (Oh God, I used to watch that?!), and go back out to the pool. That summer was probably the most time I had ever spent with my sister. Isn’t that La Dolce Vita?
We had some crazy and violent storms yesterday (Wednesday). My lights at work kept flickering. At first, I ignored it. But the flickering wouldn’t give up. So I got off my ass to venture to a room with windows. WHOA. It looked 10pm when it was really only 3pm. It was so dark outside. The crazy thing was that it was beautiful earlier with sunshine and warmth. Then BAMM – all dark with thick heavy dark clouds looming above. It was as if I was working the night shift! I went straight to my computer and checked the weather. The weather dudes claimed a tornado warning for the entire Washington DC region. A tornado was confirmed, but outside of my local area. The power went out in many areas, and unfortunately, some of my friends STILL have no power. I was one of the lucky ones to have power on still at my apartment, but it would have been nice to not have power. Why? So I can actually RESIST THE DAMN computer and just light up a candle and start chanting yoga mantras and freak out everyone in my building.
The storm blacked out many traffic signals, which ruffled my feathers again about DC driving. Remember back then I talked about a “Hot Shot Butthole” on the road? That was nothing compared to this morning. When traffic signals are blacked out, it is common sense that it automatically means a stop sign for all directions at the intersection. Well, to many DCians, such rule doesn’t exist. This morning, on my way to work, I was stuck at an intersection with blacked out traffic signals. I sat at the intersection for at least three minutes, and not one car would stop to let me cross over. What, does my car stink or something? So finally I turned on the brave part of my soul, pressed my hand on the horn and slowly crossed the intersection. Midway through, cars going south would still not stop! I was so scared I’d get rammed and die, but what did I expect to do, stay there all day?! No. So I continued to honk and slowly maneuvered my way through, but I still could not get through. Finally, I started acting like a butthole, cursing with an angry face and giving my finger to the people who wouldn’t stop. Guess what? It worked. People stopped and let me through.
Now, just how sad is it that I have to give people my finger just to get through? Does it really take cursing to share the road around here during blackouts?
Sad. Very sad. At any rate, I’m still in one piece, and that intersection is still out of power, after 24 hours.
Hello Internet, family, friends, and those little teeny ants in the web! I’m back from another trip, only this time it wasn’t anywhere exotic as Aruba. Instead, this trip was full of happy quality time with family, which made the trip awesome. One of my gazillion cousins got married! I wish her a happy lifetime with her beau!
There were some crazy moments, but nothing I would ever be embarrassed about, because my family just ROCKS. We danced all night long at the wedding. Even my fiancé danced with tissues overflowing his pant pockets due to bad allergies, and I love him for that. My dancing was probably the butt of the joke, though. Because my tinnitus was flaring, I couldn’t wear my hearing aids. So, as a result, my dancing was probably out of tune! Maybe I looked like I had some kind of electric shocks all over my body. Electrifying!
I’ve got a funny story that I’ll throw out here. While we (bridesmaids, groomsmen, and newlyweds) had our pictures taken, I had a conversation and misunderstanding with another cousin about her dogs.
Me: What’s the name of your dogs?
Cousin: Dunkin and (crap, I forget her other dog’s name!)
Me: SUCK-IT?!!?!?
*laughter all around*
Cousin: Nooo, Dunkin.
Me: Suck-it? Whaaaaaat? I don’t understand.
Cousin: *fingerspells* D-U-N-K-I-N.
Me: Ooooooooooooooh. Haha I thought you said Suck-it. Can you imagine saying “Come here, Suck-it! Get your treat…”
Cousin: *laughs*
Me: You should have named your other dog Donuts. Dunkin Donuts!
Before y’alls think I’m crazy, go to the mirror and mouth the words Dunkin and Suck-it. Pretty similar when lip-reading, huh?
Aside from all the craziness, we have a new addition to the family. Meet Eston.
Seriously, Eston just blew me away. He’s so cute. He’s gonna have ladies lining up his door! CK and Alli, I figured you’d get a hoot out of the Yankees outfit! I don’t care about the Yankees or baseball in general, but this little dude makes me want to go to a Yankees game to cheer them on!
