Chirping, Roaring, Humming, Ringing…
May 28, 2008 | Tags: Annoyances, Being deaf sucks, Daily
Since I am currently suffering from a frontal sinus flare up, I really wanted to lay down in silence and just de-stress. That’s all I wanted, just silence, my bed, a pillow, and rest. Once I hit my head on the pillow, I looked out the window to watch the pretty sunset. It was such a serene moment, but not much so when I realized I haven’t heard silence in eleven years. I stared at the sunset in disbelief. ELEVEN FREAKING YEARS! Wow. Where did the time go? This picture I found perfectly explains what is going on in my ears. (Not sure who the credit goes to?)
I am deaf, but I never have silence. Ironic? You see, I’ve been suffering from chronic tinnitus since my late teens when I lost more hearing. Just what exactly is tinnitus? The dictionary says it is “a noise that is perceived in the absence of external noise.” Unfortunately, the causes and cures for tinnitus are not well known. In college, I did a paper on tinnitus, which included interviews with other tinnitus sufferers. One of the things I discovered while doing my paper is that some researchers suggest and believe tinnitus could be that the brain generates its own sound when it is at work; a humming and ringing that are not usually noticed. WOW! This means I have a brain!! Thank god for that!
Really, tinnitus was hard to tackle at first. It put me through a major depression because it was so annoying to hear imaginary birds chirping, a non-existent helicopter, a roaring subway, or an electrical hum. Many details of my life had to be changed. I wanted to do what Van Gogh did – rip off my ears! Or invite Mike Tyson to bite my ears off!
Basically I went to a lot of doctors and underwent a lot of testing to see why I was suffering from tinnitus and if there was anything I could do. I was given some medication along with different remedies, but nothing worked except one thing, which I would later find out on my own.
That one remedy that worked was acceptance. After a long time of feeling cursed, I realized that in order for me to move on in my life and be the happy Sazzy I was, I had to accept the permanent noises in my head. At least until a cure comes along. Tinnitus became a part of me, and I was no longer bothered about it. Until tonight. All I wanted tonight was silence, and I couldn’t have it. It’s okay, though, I’ll go another eleven years with acceptance.
But still, MIKE TYSON, YOU NEARBY? Bring your teeth and bite my ears off!
You are one brave woman! I’ll have to keep “acceptance” in mind if I ever suffer from 24/7 electrical popping sounds again. Good blog with some added humor in there!
How do you filter out the tinnitus from actual environmental information? Like, how do you know if a bird is chirping nearby or if it’s the tinnitus? Does that make sense?
*curious*
“tinnitus could be that the brain generates its own sound when it is at work”
In other words, it’s like a constant hourglass cursor on the computer?
I can’t imagine having tinnitus. No wonder you like listening to music all the time!
@ M-B, Thanks!
@ Hilary, I cannot hear birds chirping anymore, so I cannot answer your question. If I DO hear birds chirping, then it is completely masked by the tinnitus because it sounds the same as if I stepped outside near a bird or inside away from the bird. Same goes for Crickets, if I can hear them, the sound is masked.
@ Jeff – Yes, my brain is a hourglass cursor until I am dead, with or without tinnitus!
Follow-up question…
okay, maybe birds chirping was a bad example. But in general, how do you know what’s brain-generated and what’s actually environmental auditory input?
@ Hilary: First, we do not know 100% if tinnitus is even “brain-generated.” The true cause is not well known. Second, I’m not sure how to answer your question. I just know. My tinnitus sounds the same all the time, inside or outside. 95% of the time it is the same constant ringing with chirps. It’s not like there’s much to compare to. What else can ring besides the phone or fire alarm? They are clearly different from the tinnitus I have. The only things that I wouldn’t be able to differentiate are the sounds that I cannot hear and/or masked. For example, crickets and birds that chirp are either masked or I cannot hear them anymore, as I lost more hearing. Another example is when I took my audiology exam, the *very* soft tones, I was no longer able to hear, either because I really cannot, or the tinnitus was just way too loud and masked over the soft tones. I’ve 11 years of experience with tinnitus and 17 years without tinnitus to be able to tell any differences if i *can* hear the external sound. You’d have to have tinnitus to understand, which you do not want, trust me!
PS: Good lord, talking about this is making my tinnitus louder, LOL!
nice to know I am not the only one suffering from this crazy thing… it comes and goes! sometimes it is nonstop which drives me nuts sometimes there’s nothing which is a total bliss. I totally understand your frustrations 100 percent!!!
Sazzy,
How do you know its tinnitus, not Jeff making weird sounds as a prank?
Brain at work? Golly. I didn’t know you have a brain.
Some people got cochlear implant as a cure for tinnitus. I know one guy who got CI because of that.
I used to have tinnitus for the longest time. It struck one year in HS, I would leave the cafeteria and my ears would ring for slightly longer than normal. You know how it’s typical for your ears to ring after leaving a very noisy place and going to a quiet place? This kept happening everyday until finally, it was just ringing all the time. It rang and rang and rang all the time until I got my CI surgery and then it was gone.
Sometimes I think the tinnitus has returned because when I’m in a quiet room, I still hear noise. I realize now that even in the absence of sound, there’s still noise everywhere!
This stuff is hard to explain!!
i have MAJOR tinnitus, too ….. like you, i’ve had to come to ‘accept’ it for me to get used to it …. i used to have it once a month or so for years …. BUT since i moved to NYC, ive had it MORE often, and sometimes nonstop for a week, ekkkk!
i do wonder if its because NYC is a very noisy city, even though im deaf, my ear “picks” up the outside sounds here? like … if im waiting for a subway train, when i hear it come by, its LOUD, i can feel the vibrations — sometimes that sets off tinnitus in my ears for a long time ….
OR, it could be (my parents think so) that NYC is a fast-paced, stressful city, and stress DOES contribute to tinnitus … when i dont take care of myself (not eating, sleeping well) my tinnitus flares up big time …
do you wear hearing aids? sometimes i do, to mask the tinnitus …. but wearing hearing aids ALL the time give me a major headache, grrrr ….
oh well! hope youre feeling better now, i KNOWKNOWKNOWKNOW the feeling and how annnnnoying it is!
Erick – I have to disagree about cochlear implants eliminating tinnitus. I have had a CI for 20 years and I went through a 4-5 year period where I suffered from tinnitus (diagnosed by a doctor) ONLY in the implanted ear.
That may be the case for some people, but certainly not in my case.
CI user here. never really had tinnitus as a hearing aid user – however i will have bouts of tinnitus in my implanted ear when i take the CI OFF. it’s usually stress related for me. only way to make it stop is to put the ci back on, but it’s never been a long term issue.
i also have tinnitus issues when i have my CI mapped – which makes it difficult to distinguish the tones from the tinnitus. my audiologist will have the tones repeat 2-3 times so i just need to listen for order amidst the chaos!
i know i have slight tinnitus. sometimes i’ll hear ringing in my ear or birds chirping…and it does drive me up the wall! but i definitely don’t have it as bad as you! i commend you for getting through it. everyone has their own way of letting it not bother them, and often times it just takes life to get through it!
i think that’s probably why i like watching tv with sound cuz then the ringing in my ears doesn’t get to me!
stupid question i think: do hearing people get tinnitus?
@ Niki – It sucks, eh?! Those moments of no tinnitus must be very blissful for you!
@ ERick – Because maybe I didn’t know Jeff 11 years ago?
@ ksw – definitely hard stuff to explain! Whew. If only it was well known, then we’d have answers!
@ Melissa – I do believe stress may have a role with it, but I dunno… my tinnitus seems to flare up the most loudest when I have a sinus infection or dizzy spells or even loud environments. Hearing aids definitely help to mask, but when it gets too loud… bad news! LOL. I’m with you!! Glad you understand!
@ Adee – thanks for sharing your input!
@ Erin – Thanks! Yes, hearing people get tinnitus. Many famous people it, too. For example: Barbara Streisand, David Letterman, Vincent Van Gogh, etc etc.
Wow, I never realized that people, much less YOU, could suffer from non-stop tinnitus. I wonder if it’s more bothersome/noticeable to have it come and go, than to have it there all the time – because maybe you can learn to just tune it out at times?
The tinnitus that I experience (very very slight) sounds like the ear pressure machine that they do when you go in for an audiograph exam. There’s the humming then there’s a series of beeps – some long and some short. I always think of those beeps whenever I get that.
Tinnitus sucks cock big time. Been living with it for a long time. There are time I just wanna bang my head against the wall. OO well, I would use an iPod to simmer it down and help me ignore the “T”! There are time I couldn’t sleep while this ringing goes on and on and on. Heck, couldn’t work while tinnitus was talking to me like a frickin’ arsehole full of Stupid Beer slurring along the happy go-to-hell pissing-all-over-the-women-toilet-seat yell-a-thon!! Man, would somebody out there help us out? We’re deaf and we want to stay frickin’ D-E-A-F!!!
[...] mentioned before, I have chronic tinnitus as a result of losing hearing. You can read about it here. For the most part, my tinnitus usually sounds like a mixture of soft ringing and birds chirping, [...]