Since I am currently suffering from a frontal sinus flare up, I really wanted to lay down in silence and just de-stress. That’s all I wanted, just silence, my bed, a pillow, and rest. Once I hit my head on the pillow, I looked out the window to watch the pretty sunset. It was such a serene moment, but not much so when I realized I haven’t heard silence in eleven years. I stared at the sunset in disbelief. ELEVEN FREAKING YEARS! Wow. Where did the time go? This picture I found perfectly explains what is going on in my ears. (Not sure who the credit goes to?)
I am deaf, but I never have silence. Ironic? You see, I’ve been suffering from chronic tinnitus since my late teens when I lost more hearing. Just what exactly is tinnitus? The dictionary says it is “a noise that is perceived in the absence of external noise.”Unfortunately, the causes and cures for tinnitus are not well known.In college, I did a paper on tinnitus, which included interviews with other tinnitus sufferers. One of the things I discovered while doing my paper is that some researchers suggest and believe tinnitus could be that the brain generates its own sound when it is at work; a humming and ringing that are not usually noticed.WOW! This means I have a brain!! Thank god for that!
Really, tinnitus was hard to tackle at first. It put me through a major depression because it was so annoying to hear imaginary birds chirping, a non-existent helicopter, a roaring subway, or an electrical hum. Many details of my life had to be changed.I wanted to do what Van Gogh did – rip off my ears! Or invite Mike Tyson to bite my ears off!
Basically I went to a lot of doctors and underwent a lot of testing to see why I was suffering from tinnitus and if there was anything I could do. I was given some medication along with different remedies, but nothing worked except one thing, which I would later find out on my own.
That one remedy that worked was acceptance. After a long time of feeling cursed, I realized that in order for me to move on in my life and be the happy Sazzy I was, I had to accept the permanent noises in my head. At least until a cure comes along.Tinnitus became a part of me, and I was no longer bothered about it.Until tonight. All I wanted tonight was silence, and I couldn’t have it. It’s okay, though, I’ll go another eleven years with acceptance.
But still, MIKE TYSON, YOU NEARBY? Bring your teeth and bite my ears off!
This conversation took place on the Metro, heading to Dupont Circle. I have no idea what we were talking about that prompted us to compare wrinkles, but we did.
Him: You’re older than me, though!
Me: *Rolls eyes* Yeah, like one week! Besides, you look older than me.
Him: No, you do…
Me: You got more wrinkles.
Him: *Scoffs*
Me: Seriously, I’ll take a picture.
We take pictures of each other’s eyes close up with the macro feature to compare.
Sazzy gulps.
Him: You even have a lot of lines on your forehead now, too.
Me: Yeah, I bet. I’m always lifting my forehead. You kinda got some, too.
Him: My mom says lines on the forehead means you are wise.
Me: There we go! We’re wise!
Him: *Doesn’t comment*
Me: I suspect I’ll be ugly when I’m old.
Him: That’s OK, I’ll still love you even if you’re old and ugly. I’ll just put a paper bag over your head. And I’ll draw a smiley on it.
Before I give you the third installment of the Best Memories of Aruba, let me present to you the bird.
After an exhilarating day of ATV riding, Jeff and I saw this Mickey Mouse painted on the wall of a mini-mart store in the alleys of Aruba.That alley was definitely not censored! The painting definitely gave us a laugh, especially after a long day of nearly getting killed on the ATV (or at least me, because you know, Jeff was a pro).
The next day, Jeff and I decided to chill on the Renaissance Island, because we had an early dinner reservation at the Flying Fishbone.
The Renaissance Island has two divided beaches: Flamingo Beach and Iguana Beach. By chillin’ on the island, I mean slathering lots of sunblock on us, lying on a hammock, watching iguanas and lizards slither by quickly, chatting, people watching, and laughing at flamingos that seemed to be on crack. Watch this video until the end.
Should I be worried Jeff might leave me for a flamingo on crack? Hmm.Seriously, though, I’d never seen a pink flamingo before, so it was a pretty neat moment watching them flock around. The flamingos never went over to the Iguana Beach, and I wondered why.Maybe they were taught by the staff to stay on the Flamingo Beach? Or perhaps something in the Flamingo Beach sand makes the flamingos addicted to the Flamingo Beach! Oh the conspiracies!
While in the midst of chilling on the beach, Jeff kept biting his fingernails as if he was thinking. I asked him what he was thinking about, but he kept insisting he wasn’t thinking about anything.I was all, “Bullshit! You’re biting your nails and acting like something is on your mind.”He was not thinking about the proposal that he would do that evening at the Flying Fishbone.He was thinking about how to scare me with a fake iguana!
Apparently Jeff had devised up this prank while at home before going to Aruba, because the so-called fake iguana was purchased before the vacation. He knew there were many iguanas in Aruba and that I was uneasy about the whole iguana thing. Yay for Jeff - another successful prank for his books!
Renaissance Island had other animals, such as parrots. These parrots were bickering, then turned their backs on each other, kind of like siblings:
In the same area (or cage, but that’s an awful word!) as the parrots, there was a pink duck or something.I had never ever seen a pink bird or a pink duck other than a flamingo, so I have no idea what this was.Perhaps someone thought it would be funny to spray paint the duck pink to match the flamingos?
Put simply, Renaissance Island was my favorite beach spot in Aruba. Palm beach was cool, but it was busy. Eagle Beach stank, literally. I needed nose plugs there. But the Renaissance Island? Pure relaxation. In fact, I don’t think I knew what relaxation meant until the Renaissance Island came into my life. Plus you had to take a boat to get there, and the wind while speeding to the island was bliss.
Last week, I stumbled on a photo that cracked me up. I decided to take a look at it again today and it STILL managed to crack me up. Click the link and prepare for a giggle to escape your mouth!
WARNING: If you do not like vulgar language, DO NOT CLICK THE LINK!
Lately, I’ve been hooked on Mario Kart for the Wii.So hooked that I’ve been dreaming about it in my sleep.Jeff was surprised I didn’t pick up my keyboard today at work and steer it every time I saw a question mark on my computer monitor.
If anyone out there thinks playing video games means sitting on your ass, you’re wrong. Since the Wii controller is motion sensitive, it requires you to move around instead of sitting on your ass with a simple controller like Playstation’s.I can’t seem to get off my lazy ass for the treadmill, but I’ll get my ass off the couch to play Wii with a competitive edge.Therefore, Wii is my exer-tainment, and that’s not a misspell.I know the Wii is nothing compared to a real workout at the gym, but cut me some slack.The Wii is giving my sorry, lazy, and growing ass a workout!
After playing boxing on Wii Sports, I get sore in my back and arms – more so than I would at the gym.Major triceps and biceps workout!No pain, no gain, right?! After Mario Kart, my shoulders feel a burn. Pretty soon I’ll be strong, and you won’t want to mess with me! Now there’s a Wii Fit out that really gets you moving!
Apparently, the Wii has other benefits.The Wii may be good for surgeons to learn controlled and delicate movements.Also, the Wii has become helpful in rehab therapy for those who have had a stroke or combat injuries.Wii helps patients remember how to use their limbs in a fun way.
On the the other hand, the Wii can be dangerous if your arms are flying everywhere hitting the nearby lamp, accidentally hitting your 2nd player, or throwing your controller up into to the fan out of anger from losing. Being unwise about your environment will eventually cause some injuries, but just put everything in storage and you’ll be fine. Why do you need a lamp if the light coming from the flat screen is good enough? Why do you need the 2nd player if you keep winning anyways?Seriously, though, to prevent any kind of major Wii-injury, just do the Wii warm-up.
This could be fun for my entire family if I had kids.It’d be like a family night.I was never interested in playing with serious gamers, because all they did was sit on their asses without moving. Maybe scream out some obscenities, but that’s only mouth movement. Oh yeah and finger movements on the controller. But the Wii?WHOO! GAME ON!
NO PAIN, NO GAIN! GO KOOPA TROOPA, GO SHOVE BABY MARIO OFF THE BRIDGE! QUESTION MARK! DROP THOSE BANANAS! FIRE THE RED SHELL!
This morning on my way to work, I had to take a detour because a tree fell smack onto a busy road. Then, another road was closed. The roads were littered with tree branches. I’m thinking to myself, what the heck happened? Apparently all through last night while I was asleep, heavy rain and wind was hard at work. The storm resulted in school delays, power outages, and even evacuations. Currently, we are still on a flood warning and watch. The morning commute is crazy.
But, the best part about all of this? I didn’t hear one thing all night long and slept like a log.
This is for all the mothers out there, including my own mother, who put up with my crap.
Top 10 Reasons Mothers Rock:
10. When Moms say they’re not cut out to be a mom, but they do it splendidly anyway.
9. They stay up late losing sleep over where we are past our curfew, but still love us.
8. Their heart breaks when we scream, “I hate you, Mom! You’re so unfair!” Yet, Mom’s love is unconditional.
7. They endured painful labor with lots of screaming just for us.
6. They yelled at us for making a mess, but they always picked up after us. But they might still have an old coupon book you made as a child, so beware!
5. When we spill our brand new hot chocolate all over the sidewalk, Mom goes “Aww, you look so cute,” instead of yelling frustrations.
4. Moms always changed your diapers, no matter how much we stank. (And probably expect us to change theirs when they’re old!)
3. Being a mom includes many job titles such as chauffeur, driving us around before we got our licenses.
2. They put up with our pranks.
1. (Insert your own personal experience on why Moms rock!)
Happy Mother’s Day! Without you, we wouldn’t exist!
Jeff got Mario Kart for his wii and I tried it out for the first time last night.
The wheel was so sensitive that it made me look like a drunk driver swerving all over the place and flipping over several times. Someone call the wii police and report DUI on the Flower Cup track!
For those that don’t know sign language: I’m saying, “Look, drunk driving!” Then later on, “This is sensitive!”
Second installment of the “Best Memories of Aruba” collection!!
ATV riding on the east coast of Aruba is NO easy feat! All the photos and movies I will show about my ATV adventure don’t do justice in explaining how crazy the ride was. No way could Jeff or I take pictures of the actual scary part, because we had to hold on for dear life. There’s nothing I can do or say to prove to you how scary this was, unless you go yourself.
An employee of Rancho Daimari picked me and Jeff up at the Renaissance Hotel, and we went through a major maze of roads to the ranch where our ATV tour would begin. Our route took us through crazy roads that were bumpy as hell. Our heads were bobbing and our jaws were clenched shut as we tried to prevent our teeth from breaking. The pink cross on the rear view mirror says it all about how jarring the drive was!
Once we got to the ranch, we had to sign legal papers to release the ranch from being sued if something were to happen. My signature on the release of liability papers probably had evidence of a shaking arm. Those legal papers SCARED ME, especially after seeing how bumpy it was on the way to the ranch. Even the rules scared me.
I was ready to go right back to the hotel and kiss an iguana instead. Jeff reassured me and said everything would be fine.
Not even a quarter mile out on my rented ATV, I already got stuck on a rock, scared shitless. The tour guide had to come down the hill and help me get back on track. He told me that the rest of the tour wouldn’t be as hard as the beginning hill. I believed him and went on. Our tour had two major stops: the Natural Bridge and the Natural Pool.
The Natural Bridge was fairly easy to get to, no major mishaps or any heart attacks. I felt good, ATV riding was easy after all!
The bridge wasn’t that awesome because it collapsed in 2005 and ruined the little pool that it used to have.
The dirt area is where the pool used to be. Next to the Natural Bridge, we saw the Baby Bridge, which was pretty cool, but nothing that makes you scream OMG!
After the Natural Bridge, we all ventured to the Natural Pool.Remember how the tour guide told me that the beginning hill was the hardest of the entire tour? WELL, HE LIED TO ME. And, remember how I said ATV riding was easy after all? I FOOLED MYSELF! Getting to the Natural Pool was scary! Keep in mind that I went skydiving before, and the Natural Pool route was SCARIER THAN JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE!There were big rocks everywhere and the hill was just as steep as it was to get to Stinson Beach, California by car. One of my tires even got flat, and the tour guide had to pump air back into the tire. That’s how jarring the rocks were on parts of the route!
Once we got to the bottom to the Natural Pool, I allowed myself to take in the beauty with Jeff, taking pictures and all. The ocean and rocks reminded me of Northern California, while the cacti and desert landscape reminded me of Arizona. So, as a result of my observations, I dubbed the east side Arizfornia.
Once it was time to leave the Natural Pool and go back up that crazy hill with a million rocks, my eyes welled up with tears and I said, “Jeff, I’m scared of dying, and if I don’t make it back alive, I love you.” I’m sure deep down he thought this was funny, but he kept a cool face and again assured me that every thing would be fine.
After the Natural Pool, we went back to the ranch. I stopped right before the ranch while nestled in the hills to take pictures. Everyone was way ahead of me and had already parked at the ranch. By the time I got back to the ranch, I couldn’t find everyone and got lost. I kept going and going, until I got stuck on another rock, with YET ANOTHER FLAT TIRE. All I could think was, “Good Lord, I’m glad this tour is over and I’m on the ranch!”
I googled the link for Rancho Daimari to include in this blog, and I found this thread about a woman who died on the same type of ATV tour. All I can say is I am glad I did not read this while standing at the bottom of the Natural Pool hill, because I would have FREAKED about going back up the scary rugged hill and would have been so determined that I would die.
I must emphasize, the Arizfornia coast was SCARY AS HELL. All the peeing I did in my pants (kidding) and close heart attacks were worth it, because I couldn’t ask for a better accomplishment than yelling, “That wasn’t so bad after all!” and “I’M STILL ALIVE!! TGALJC!!”
