Archive for November 2007

I love Dilbert and his Internet Addiction.

Nov 06, 2007 | Tags:

dilbert.gif

How many of you out there are addicted to the Internet? Raise your hand. Yes, you, raise your hand! You know you’re addicted! You check Facebook during work hours, you check your email 100 times a day like me, you check your stocks every minute or the sport scores, and so on. Hey you back there, you’re not raising your hand? Then what is that in your hand? Oh a sidekick? What’s on the sidekick? A browser? Yep, addicted. Same here.

I don’t know what life would be without the Internet. Granted, there was a time back in the old days where I had to drag my body over to the library to complete a research project. I had to flip through tons of pages to find sources. I was hunched over books, periodicals, and such for hours looking for the perfect source. Even worse, I knew I saw a specific paragraph with the information I needed, but then I couldn’t find it! I would curse under my breath like an 8 year old shouldn’t.   

Now, we do it all by a click of the mouse. Poof! I’ve got my information in a nanosecond. My day consists of checking my emails 100 times a day, stumbling upon random and awesome sites (www.stumbleupon.com – download it, you won’t regret it), and searching for answers. The Internet is our new library and I am addicted. Throw me into Internet rehab, I don’t care, because I’d just Google my way out. Just Google it, right?

Right. And I’m spoiled as hell because I get all the information handed to me in a silver spoon just like that. The internet is one of my best friends.  If I want to know how to convert 4,444,444 acres into square feet, I just summon Google.com. No need for my calculator. And, oh my gosh, I don’t need my brain either! Wait, what’s a brain? Oh that squirmy, gooey mass in my head? Right! I forgot!

Tonight, I searched, “Why do I remember books more than movies?” and I actually came up short with many search engines. My jaw dropped to the floor. I stared at my laptop, eyes bulging out and all, completely astonished. How the hell can the Internet come up short! The Internet is supposed to be the biggest INSTANT encyclopedia you can find on the face of the earth for this instant-gratification culture. Information age, you hear me!? Do you feel my pain? I need to know why I remember the storyline in books much more than I remember movies!

My life is officially over as you know it.  I must find my brain and use it.

 

Deer, headlights, whatever!

Nov 01, 2007 | Tags:

I was showing Jeff a funny picture of someone in a magazine. He commented that the person in the picture looked like a deer caught in front of headlights.

Later on, as Jeff was watching TV, I said to him, “I’m surprised you haven’t asked me yet.”  

 He was at a loss and staring at me a little panicked.  Trying to poke fun at his earlier comment about the person in the picture, I said, “Now who’s stuck in front of the deer?”

After he stopped convulsing in laughter on my bed long enough to look at me, I tried again: “Now whose head is in front of the headlights?”

Aww dammit, I was tired and I couldn’t get it straight!
(And no, I wasn’t referring to marriage! I was referring to a job possibility.)