I didn’t actually see Sarah Palin in person in the ladies room. Instead, I saw a fun rant about her on the bathroom stall. This is blog worthy because I have never seen a rant on a bathroom stall about Sarah Palin. I hear the men’s bathroom has all kind of goodies to read like this one, though. What an amusing bathroom trip! Only in Capitol Hill, kids.
If you can’t read the last line, it says “And she could have been VP?!?!?”
Me: Hey, check out my website’s new look.
Friend: Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: Why are you sighing?
Friend: More zebras.
Yes, more zebras! I had to liven things up a little bit here. Thanks to Jeff for getting my website all wild ‘n funky! Hey, it just so happens to be Dr. Seuss’ birthday. One of his famous quotes has a zebra in it: “There’s no limit to how much you’ll know, depending on how far beyond Zebra you go.”
I got the below in an email forward string. No idea who the baby is, but the cutie sure knows what’s up!
I was just sittin’ here wonderin’….
When the hell is spring coming?!
Today was such a beautiful day, but it was windy! It is because of this wind, my car now has a new beauty mark!
I was inside my car opening the door to get out, when the wind suddenly decided to WHOOSH really hard. The wind was so harsh that my car door went flying torwards the passenger door of the car next to me. I watched my door go BANG! SCCCRAAAPE! SCRAAAATCH! a good few inches on the other car. My door ended up with a nice dent on the edge where it hit the other car to show off it’s handiwork. The other car? Not so lucky, it ended up with damage about 7 inches in height and 3 inches width.
Believe me, by the time I even was able to reach out to grab the door before it hit the other car, the wind just took over. There was no way I could be quicker than the wind. Not even Superman himself.
I quickly shut my door, turned on my engine, and moved to a different parking spot as if I could get away with it. That was my “flight” mode taking off. I was thinking how the f— could this happen to me??? I was having such a wonderful day, you know?! Geez! I moved my car, no one will know.
Wrong. I’m the one who would know. I wasn’t even one step away from my car and already the guilt was gnawing at me, chipping away at each brain cell, each emotion, each living cell inside me. The cute little angel on my shoulder turned pretty sour screaming in my ear, “YOU FRICKING MORON, LEAVE A NOTE! It’s not fair to that other person!”
When I got inside my appointment, I asked for a paper and pen and went back out to leave a note on the car with my number. After my appointment, the car was still there. I decided to ask the building front desk lady if she knew who’s car it was (it was right out front clear as day). She did! So she got the owner of the car to come meet me. I told her what happened and that I was incredibly sorry! She was like, oh it’s okay, my car is old and crappy (something of that sort). I told her my phone number was on the note if she changed her mind. We were both really friendly. But the last thing she said is what made me feel fuzzy and warm inside. “Thank you for your honesty.”
Yes, honesty is the best policy. I walk away guilt-free and she wouldn’t be wondering who decided to be an asshole without leaving a note for the damage.
Anyway, so yeah, it’s windy.
SAZZYBAMM IN DA HOOOUSE!!! What’s up my home fries?!
Nothing says love like subtly flirting in the corner of a local bookstore.
Today’s Valentine’s Day, whatever that is. Everyday should be about love. Blah blah blah. Yes. More blah blah.
Anyway, here’s to love – the only fire for which has no insurance.
Stop in the name of Snow
Before you break my heart!
Or make me fat!
Cabin fever got me eating
Pure sugar candy!
Well, looks like Snowpocalypse 2.1 just arrived to slam us with another foot or so! I guess Snowpocalypse 2 had some kinks here and there, so 2.1 was in order for immediate release? I’m hoping Ben Gay and massage therapists come down from the sky too for all that shoveling pain. Awesome excercise, though! I haven’t felt this sore in years! No pain, no gain, right? But, still…
Snow, email me. No doubt we need to talk.
Well, the “mystery” snowstorm arrived and left. SNOWTORIOUS B.I.G. Whoa. The twitter world is calling this storm snOMG. There’s lots of white stuff out there, and no I’m not talking about cocaine, so don’t start sniffing and get a brain freeze. The evergreen trees are totally flaccid that they need viagra. We have 26+ inches! One of the worst snowstorms to hit the DC area in 90 years! Nothing we can do except go out there, shovel, throw some snowballs, or sit on our asses. I’ve decided to do all the above, but I’m definitely doing more of sitting on my ass.
If I lived in DC, I would have gone to the massive Dupont Circle Snowball Fight! SMACK DOWN BABY! WHO DAT!!! I IS SAZZY BAMM.
In all seriousness, snow is certainly beautiful when it first blankets everything. However, if you look closer, snow can make you say OMG and drop your jaw in amazement. The millions of snowflakes are unique in their own way and completely mindblowing, magical even. See the magic of snOMG?!
Hey, guess what? It’s supposed to dump another foot on Tuesday. Cheers!
SAZZY BAMM IN DA HOUSE!!!! What’s up people?!!? Is there a such thing as too much coffee? I think so, because my head… where did it go? Oh right, it went to go play basketball bouncing around!! I’m so pumped I could run a half marathon right now! Who knew free coffee at work could be so potent mixed with Starbucks?
People, I have a very pressing matter to bring to your attention. It’s supposed to snow again. The weather people say 1-2 inches, then 2-3, then 6-12, and now possibly 22!!!! Dudes, that’s taller than a foot. But get this, now the amount is apparently a “mystery.” We’ve gotten way more snow this winter than the last three years combined!
Here’s what Washington DC area people have to say in response to the news article about the upcoming snowstorm:
Whiskey,
Whiskey,
and more Whiskey.
Frozen fig newtons.
Using the snow as a cooler for beer – the “green” way!
(Sorry I can’t make the pictures fit properly so you have to click on them to see better.)
By the way, I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I bought my very own shovel, finally, after a bunch of snow days this winter. My very first shovel to call my own! No more borrowing shovels from the neighbors! Snow, bring it on! I sound proud and excited, don’t I?! Trust me, it’s the coffee talking, not me.
Feeling embarrassed with your “old” 3G iPhone because you can’t shoot videos? Well you can stop feeling embarrassed now with iVideoCamera! Who needs the iPhone 3GS now?! Instead of shelling out another hundred or so, we can be just as cool as the 3GS iPhone users for less than a dollar! Granted, the video resolution won’t be as great as the built in video camera on the 3GS, but it will do for less than a dollar! I repeat – LESS THAN A DOLLAR! You can even upload the videos to Facebook, YouTube, Vimeo, and so forth straight from the iVideoCamera app itself. Now I can annoy everyone with movies of “see-food” in my mouth with the click of a button!
Of course, if an iPhone 4.0 rolls around and the features blow my mind….. well…….
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a credit card device on a vending machine. We’re constantly in the future! Want to donate money? Sure, just text a simple number. Want a cold, satisfying soda, but you don’t have cash? Just swipe that plastic baby!
